School GRumble

Hmmm... I never thought I'd actually be blogging again.
Hell, I never would've imagined that my next post after such a long hiatus from blogging would be about an anime/manga, and one thats pretty much already fizzled out in the eyes of regular otaku world at that.

So. I thought I oughta start with a li'l bit of backstory.

My fellow otaku friends pretty much know me as the sort of person who rarely follows anime as they're released weekly. Only a few notable exceptions (eg, SHnY, K-On!, Initial D) managed to entice me enough to passionately follow on an as-released basis.

School Rumble (henceforth known as SR) pretty much fell into my usual category - wait til the whole season's done before starting up on it.

I remember enjoying myself years back with the first season of SR.
It was madcap, loony, insane. Pretty much the sort of series I'd enjoy.

When the second series was released, I was actually in the midst of graduating and anime had kinda just lost its charm/attraction as the reality of long working hours, managing finances, friends and entertainment hit me.

In '08, when I saw releases of the SR OVA "San Gakki" being made available, I thought maybe it'd be great to fire up and watch the second season.
But then I stumbled upon some reviews online about how dissatisfying and disappointing the OVA was, so I relented.
Too, '08 was a crazy year in terms of work, so I never really bothered.

Fast forward one more year, after being hit back into a slight anime groove due to the most excellent K-On!, I thought I'd give School Rumble a shot.

At this point in life, I pretty much figured out that the series I really enjoyed always had a high-school theme(ish) to it.
Initial D, SHnY, Full Metal Panic, Lucky Star etc...

So i thought, what-the-hey, lets get re-started on SR.

*Warning! Spoilers Ahead!*

I decided not to jump straight into Ni Gakki, but ran through the first season for a refresher.
After being psyched up with the first season (which was really really excellent) and the OVA, I jumped into the second season....

And was kinda disappointed.
There was less emphasis on the main characters, less humour, and it seemed like there was a chance that I might be hit with a post-Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien-esque depression with how things were turning out.

Admittedly, I was always part of the Onigiri faction.
Being a huge Yakumo fanboy way back when, I was always hoping that Yakumo would end up with Harima, however unlikely it seemed at that point in time (i.e. after watching S1).

At the end of Ni Gakki, I came away pretty ruddy excited.
Yes, it sucked that Yakumo was giving way to her sister.
But she admitted that she liked Harima.
That was way good enough for me. ^_^

Then San Gakki came, turned everything upside down, and I was left with a perpetual "WTF just happened?" look on my face.
On top of that, I came away pretty miserable 'coz the whole Yakumo - Harima - Eri thingie was never cleared up.

[One bit was rather nice though.. in the prologue of San Gakki ep 25, Yakumo is heard saying ".... Harima san no koto suki desukara".
This sounds like a confession... 'coz what it means is "because ______ like(s) Harima san".
Whatever _____ is, its anyone's guess. But I'd like to think that it was "watashi wa" since I'm such a Yakumo fanboy]

Anyways, after that baffling OVA ,.. i did something i rarely ever do (other than typing this blog post, which really is pretty much an outlet to vent my frustration/disappointment regarding SR).

I decided to read the manga.
Online.
(Disclaimer: I've only read the scanlations for SR, so I may also be way off the mark depending on how the translations were interpreted)

It was just as well that School Rumble Z had just completed, so I thought I’d be able to check out the complete, final, end-of-everything ending (or so I thought).

Now, I've only EVER read 2 mangas before.
One was Initial D since I'm pretty much a gearhead.
The other was GTO 'coz I had a generous platoon mate and some spare time before entering the army reserves.

So, yeah. I rarely read manga. Unless its convenient or I have a burning passion for it. Kinda obvious where SR falls into. =P

Anyhoo, after finding out that the manga was some 300 chapters long (including School Rumble Z), I decided that I really really just wanted to know what happened to Yakumo and Harima (yeah yeah, big-arse fanboy I am), so I made a decision to just read from the chapter when Yakumo tried to tell Harima her feelings (*Squeal, gasp, and other noises adult heterosexual males shouldn't be making in public*) and finish off from there.

For the record, that chapter's 258.

So, I blitzed through Chapters 258 - 283, and all 10 chapters of SR Z on a Sunday... and....
Well, lets just say things ended on a slightly more positive note than the anime. Slightly.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this, but in the aftermath of the confusion thats the manga, I thought I'd piece together a timeline from Chapters 281 onwards.

I guess... after seeing how crazy/baffling things went after chapter 281, I wanted to find a sense of coherence.
Or maybe to seek out a clearer view as to what happens after C281, since it really went crazy mad from then on.

At the time C281 was inked, I think Kobayashi Jin (the mangaka of SR, henceforth known as KJ) was just giving up on SR and was thinking of ending it way too prematurely.
Things went straight into end-of-the-San-Gakki-OVA territory, and it was just @_@ from then.

So, for those who didn't read the manga and only watched the anime, READ THE MANGA.
Especially if you're rooting for Yakumo. =P

So, to the timeline!

....

No wait, long sidenote first:
I'd kinda like to think SR ended with Chapter 281. At this point in time, the Yakumo - Harima - Eri triangle is at a very interesting situation (which was not shown in the anime).

Tenma had already scooted off to the US.
Eri had already mended Harima's face at the temple.
Sarah's also staying with Yakumo.

In the anime, after Eri fixes Harima's face, it jumps straight into A-Few-Years-Later mode.. but the manga follows up with the ensuing bits....

Harima, in the weirdest show of friendship (and in yet another attempt to keep her in Japan), agrees to get engaged to Eri.
The Tea Club, aka, Yakumo Support Group rallies around a Yakumo who admits that she still probably likes Harima (HELL YEAH.. thats good enough for me, yo!).

Itoko kicks Harima out of her apartment 'coz guys who're engaged shouldn't be living with another woman (rightly so).
Eri, in typical Ojou-sama-bitchiness (my apologies to Flag/Jersey Faction members), refuses to allow Harima onto her premises (hello, fiancé much?).

At which point the Yakumo Support Group shows up, drags Harima off to beat up a wrongly-implicated criminal (poor Hanai).
Sarah (in full Sister Act garb) offers Harima a reward within the church's ability.
Harima asks for a place to stay the night... assuming that he can stay at the church.

And of course since Sarah's actually staying at the Tsukamoto residence, its like total SCORE for Yakumo. Kinda.
GIRL POWER anyways. =P
Its mentioned that Yakumo continues being Harima's manga assistant, and they use the funds from the manga to maintain the Tsukamato residence.
The chapter ends with Ms Fiancé Eri coming over to drag Hige off for an important meet since he is (after all) engaged to her.

I thought it would've been nice to end there.
But nope, KJ follows up with 2 chapters of lets-meet-up-in-USA-to-help-Karasuma-with-his-memory-a-few-years-later which kinda just fuddles up the whole story.
Its nice to know that Yakumo definitely still has feelings for Harima at that point, but I was kinda sad that he'd just upped and left somewhere in between. =/

Also, not content with screwing things up with Chapters 282 and 283, KJ goes ahead to release the baffling SHnY-esque-time-jumping School Rumble Z.

Anyways... this culminates to the following.
What I’ve done in my annoyance/frustration at the horrendous ending that is School Rumble / Z, I decided to come up with a timeline of events from what happens after C281.

Its mainly a mesh of SR Z chapters, as well as where I feel the story goes beyond Chapter 281, but do note, this is in no way a fanfiction, just someone trying to sort out the placement of chapters, SHnY style.

(Oh, I thought I'd give the chapter names my own interpretation too, just for fun, and also in the spirit of KJ's methodology of giving chapter names with the titles of songs/movies)

Here goes!~

# Months Before C281 - SR Z Chapter 6 - Saving Private Ryan (aka The Game)

At first glance, it might seem that this chapter takes place AFTER C281, but its really not (imho).

This chapter takes us back to when Yakumo, Harima and Eri are still in school.
Its can be argued that at this point, Harima and Eri are already engaged 'coz she puts marriage on the line after challenging (and beating!) Harima to a round of Shogi, but I really doubt it due to the other clues.

See, basically, Harima's drawing yet another manga (also, KJ mentions Harima’s at the start of his mangaka career), but runs out of ink.
He goes to see Eri to borrow 2,000 yen (wouldn't Yakumo lend him that amount if he were living with her? which is yet another reason why this chapter isn't after C281).

Also, Harima mentions that Karasuma has gone off to the states (but this probably means that whole “America Room” silliness, rather than Karasuma going off to USA for his brain-deadening operation with Tenma in pursuit).

Anyways, after Eri lays him the smackdown on Shogi, Harima tries to escape from her mansion.
But he finds out that he's cornered 'coz the Sawachika household help have him fenced in with weapons and animals, and goes back to admit defeat.

He tries to make a few more moves (on the Shogi battlefield, not on Eri, duh), gets completely cornered again by Eri and texts Imouto san for help.

Eri gets annoyed by this, but would also be happy to have Yakumo present to witness Harima's failure and his inevitable marriage to Eri.
Yakumo however, shows up and points out that Eri made a wrong move and is therefore disqualified. YOU GO GIRL! =P

No wedding bells yet, Eri. ^^;;

One Year After C281 - SR Z Chapter 10 - The Graduation Song (aka Goodbye Again)

This was probably the saddest moment for Onigiri Faction members.
After a very humbling SR Z Chapter 9 (more to be mentioned later), Harima shows up at their graduation ceremony with Eri.
In addition to that, there are some panels depicting a (ARGH!) happily-married-with-baby-in-hand Eri X Harima pairing.

Onigiri members can argue that this is the imagination of Max (some character that was never mentioned in the anime) since he was just thinking about the two of 'em in the previous page, but its fair enough to say that since this is the last, final SR chapter ever, its possible that Eri X Harima will probably happen. =(

Additionally, Yakumo breaks down whilst giving her farewell speech to her seniors.
In the background are a bunch of panels whereby a lot of 'em feature Harima.
Kinda poignant, and significant too, 'coz it may just signify that she's given up the chase. =/

Of course, Tenma shows up in true style from the US (with a wheel-chaired Karasuma in tow) and saves the day/stage/Yakumo with her inimitable enthusiasm.
And SR Z ends there. Though, not in my timeline.

3 Years After C281 - SR Z Chapter 9 - Hit In The USA (aka Patch Adams)

Actually, at this point, I have to admit I'm not really sure how the years are working out.
Again, this is my timeline so feel free to argue as much as you want about it. =)

Anyways, a key point here is that KJ mentions that the time when the two of 'em (i.e. Tenma & Yakumo) are wearing uniforms is quite long off.

Likewise, since Tenma's working at an intern at Karasuma's hospital, its safe to say that the two of 'em are now college students, hence why I placed this chapter three years after the events of C281 (gotta need time for Yakumo to graduate and hit college too).

Anyways, Yakumo makes a trip down to the US of A to catch up with her elder sister.
Tenma asks Yakumo about Harima, and its pretty obvious that she still has feelings for him, even though he's still got feelings for Tenma.
Also, Harima is still co-habiting with Yakumo and Sarah, which makes me really rather giddy with happiness (yeah, i'm nuts).

However, in a rather humbling moment (and why most Onigiri members would probably admit defeat at this point), Yakumo feels/thinks that the only person who will probably be able to break down Harima's "Tenma Wall" is Eri.
And Yakumo also admits that Eri is beautiful too.
GAH. Grumble. Wodever.
Yakumo still has me in the end.

Okay wait, thats going a wee bit too far.
Back to the timeline.

5 Years After C281 - SR Chapters 282 & 283 - My Best Friend's Wedding (aka The Motorcycle Diaries & Class)

So, we're back to the original SR manga.
And I place this here because its pretty much obvious that everyone's graduated from college at this point in time (despite everyone showing up in high school uniforms).

Peeps in the class are married. Ichijou's acting in Dojibiron (and probably attached/married to Imadori since she calls him by his first name).

Anyways, Tenma's asked the ol' class of 2-C to the USA since Karasuma's memory seems to be slightly recovering.
Yakumo and Sarah meet up with Mikoto, Eri and Akira in the States
At this point, its certain that Harima's left the Tsukamoto household (and Japan as well).

Yakumo asks (aaawwww) whether Harima is showing up, and Eri gives her typical bitcharse indifference-filled comment.
At which point Harima is shown to be touring the US on a bike, playing songs and randomly drawing portraits of people who have "horns" (aka Tenma's pigtails).

Anyways, all this is similar to the anime
The class meets up at the church in USA (presumably for the marriage of Tenma X Karasuma though thats never stated).
The pie fight ensues, and Harima suddenly dives in to save a cake from ending up in Tenma's face.
Harima doesn't end up with Tenma (duh), though she warmly welcomes him back.
And well, thats the end of the SR manga.

Again, I'm quite upset with this ending of the SR manga because no loose ends are tied up, though I liked how Harima acknowledged "Imouto san" in the last panel with a "long time no see".

8 Years After C281 - SR Z Chaper 3 - NHK Ni Youkoso! (aka Tickets)

Right, so at this point in time, I'm really just fudging around with the timeline.
This chapter may or may not be considered canon to the whole SR storyline.
Its preceded by two rather silly chapters set in the middle ages and samurai era, so some might be inclined to think this chapter's BS (including myself).
But... KJ does clarify this in the manga as something happening in the future of Yagami city. *sigh*

Anyways, Harima is completely bummed out as a mangaka 'coz things aren't doing well.
He's told by someone in a dream (ostensibly the God of Manga) to continue using his pen.
Things turn out well (he becomes a pro baseball player WTF?), he ends up with a nice mansion, but finally burns down his home with his cigar.

The only thing that survives is his trusty pen, and he returns back to drawing.

Again, I'm quite upset about this chapter.
If its set in the future, and if Harima's still drawing Manga, WHY ISN'T YAKUMO HIS ASSISTANT?!?! T_T
Blargh, nevermind, I will illogically chalk this chapter up as BS. =P

(Weirdly, at the end of the chapter before he burns his home down, Tenma pops by his home, though it was just her speech bubble, rather than an actual physical presence)

10 (+?) Years After C281 - SR Z Chapter 5 - Shutter (aka Michael Clayton)

There're a couple of reasons why this chapter's placed after the previous one.
Harima is missing again, but Yakumo's actually working in Dankousha (as an editor of sorts).
If Harima's still drawing manga, she oughta know where he is (strangely, he's supposedly in the vicinity of Heathrow, though thats only revealed to Yakumo later).

Also, Hanai and Mikoto are married, and she's expecting his child. Plus Hanai's also running for.. uh.. mayor or something.
I figure ya oughta be pretty old to do that.

Anyways, it doesn't matter whether this happens before or after the last chapter I guess, since I've already chalked up SR Z Chaper 3 as BS. =P

Still, quite a bit happens here.
Not the least of which is Eri admitting that Yakumo is still her rival for Hige, which is enough for me to give a Tenma-esque YOSHA!
And seeing a grown-up Yakumo blushing to hear of Harima's whereabouts is just really too sweet for words. =P
Weirdly, Eri's working as an air stewardess and Takano's well.. into her usual Mission Impossible role I guess.

=============

So... thats kinda it for SR I guess.
I've tried to piece together what happens beyond (and maybe a wee bit before) C281 of the manga, but its still just my take on the events.

I'd've been very happy if SR ended on C281 there and then.
But since KJ decided to continue on and throw things into a weirdly-garbled timeline mess, I thought I could fix things up a little with my own view of how things happened after C281.

Anyways, I guess, in the end, it can be summarised as this:

Tenma X Karasuma
Yakumo -> Harima (X?) Eri

And for me, so long as Yakumo -> Harima exists, I guess I'm happy.
I just wish she could've got what she wanted. OTL
I mean, being the most wonderfully perfect 2D character ever created, she really oughta have deserved better. =(((((

Harima too, after all his efforts in pursuing Tenma, shouldn't he at least get the other available Tsukamato after being hurt so many times?
Too, I really hate the thought of him ending up with the (*#&@(#&(*&#@( Princess-bitch Eri. =P

Ah well, ultimately, its just an anime/manga.
But i've not felt so strongly for a series in such a long long time. ^^;;

My next agenda?
Read up the whole SR manga since I probably missed a fair bit by starting from C258 only.
I definitely missed out on how Yakumo's feelings for Harima were building up to the point when she confessed.
Too, why she had feelings for Harima was never really clearly stated in the anime, so I'd like to find out how the lead-up to that happens in the manga.

Til I finish up all 293 chapters, I doubt you'll see me swing by here.
(Unless its to anally amend/edit this post... though I wish I had Yakumo to do that for me) =P

Adios!~

^_^

700km in 5 days.

Saying Goodbye

I had to say goodbye to a friend recently. It was a little sad saying goodbye to her. We'd known each other for only a few short years. But its amazing how regular time spent together can increase one's affection.

You could say we travelled the world together. You could say we were close companions. She guided my life over the past few years, through rain or shine. When dark, she'd never hesistate to light up my life for me. When down, she'd always be there, with a listening ear and never hesitating to lend a shoulder.

She saved my life. Twice.

I feel horribly indebted to her. And I feel equally horrible that I was the decision in having her leave. The only upside to this sending off is that she's unemotional enough not to shed any tears.

Actually, she can't shed tears.
Ever.

She was my car.
My first ride.

Its funny how people get so thoroughly attached to their automobiles. Heck, first cars will probably leave a lasting impression on even the most clueless of drivers - those who see vehicles as just a tool to get from point A to B.

Being the gearhead that I am, seeing my first car leave for parts unknown was definitely quite the painful experience. I won't say I shed any tears on giving up my keys, but I did have that horribly stuck feeling in my throat. All throughout my last drive with her on 27th June, 2007. At approximately 1530-1600hrs.

When i handed over my friend, the odometer read 96,352km. Yes, for 5 years, it would seem like a very short distance travelled on a per year basis. Some people can easily clock twice that amount in the same timeframe.

I'll put it in my own perspective though. I had actually driven her around the equator of our planet.
Twice.
And then some.

More than two whole times round Earth. In a straight line from East to West. Thats an effing lot of history. And not just of the distance travelled too.

The number of people I'd spent time together with her. The number of highly enjoyable, highly enlightening conversations I'd had in her. Be it just on my way home back from work (or initially, from college). Or just sitting in her at some deserted locale, with the A/C running and another friend to converse with. Those were good times. Very good times.

And then there was the fun. The occasional weekends spent along a certain stretch of twisties i mentioned a few posts down. The Japanese have a word - touge (峠). "Mountain pass" would be a suitable translation. But me and my fellow gearhead friends coined the term for that stretch of road mainly 'coz whilst it doesn't have much of a gradient, it has many technical and fun corners as befitting a mountain pass. Besides, there aren't any mountains near home anyways.

And when I pushed her along, trying to get closer to perfect heel-and-toe downshifts, she would sing. Boy, could she sing. It was a voice that would always put a smile on my face. Which is what I can say for only too few women out there. *cough* =P =P

I admit, I wasn't always the bestest of friends with her. I'd take it out on her when depressed or stressed. But she never wavered, steadfastly being loyal to me. And regretfully, I betrayed that loyalty once. Sending her into a spin and flipping into a drain. Still, she protected my life, at great cost to her own personal body. That particular incident happened just 3 days after my last post, which i may elaborate further on, if i ever decide to update this blog again.

The first time she ever protected my life was when some numbnuck in a big-arse truck decided to rear-end us for no particular reason on my way to college. Still, a week later, she was back, smiling and singing like before. Talk about a fast recovery.

Alas, various reasons eventually led to my decision to let her go. Financially, due to our twisted tax structure, I was losing too much money on her. Secondly, newer models were available for much less now due to a recent downswing in car prices.

I'm sorry I had to let you go, my dear Civic. I know I'll never see you in the flesh again. But one thing's for sure. You'll definitely occupy a portion of my heart and memory for as long as they can both function. =)

All the best. And I hope your new owner in whichever country takes good (or better) care of you.



Bon Voyage!~

And here's me collecting the keys to my new ride at the showroom!~ ^_^



Sidenote: The reason why I'm suddenly updating my blog (after a hiatus of around one and a half years too) is that aside from losing the abovementioned friend in the month of June, the month of July will also see the leaving of 3 of my closer friends. And I'm feeling more than a li'l lonely, not to mention, slightly abandoned (though, I do admit there's no logical reason to feel the latter). >_<

Yes, two of 'em will be gone only temporarily, but they'll be away for a timeframe that's counted by years instead of months.

You ladies know who you are. So if you ever get round to reading this regularly-not-updated blog, give me a call or send me a virtual hug or something. I miss you all. T_T

And oh, thats really not my Ferrari F430 Spyder (big news there). It is me sitting in one though, despite the 笑い男/Laughing Man coverup. But thats yet another story.

Back, but not for long

Hah. Been more than a month since I last posted on this thing. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with this blog-thang.

Lets see. Updates (ambiguous ones of course). Well, 'tis been one whirlwind of a month. Been to a number of places, experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. Though for once it was mostly riding on a high rather than stuck in a miserly trough. And well, its back to the grapevine until I graduate. Then I can leave this cesspool which dares to call itself an academic institution.

Hrm, it could be argued that its yet another grapevine after graduation. But well, (for once) I'd like to be optimistic and feel that its gonna be a good grapevine which I'll enjoy and be satisfied with. Illogical and idealistic perhaps. Heck at least I'll be earning some greens, uh hopefully. w00t!~

Cheers.

Oh wait. One bit (pathetically leeched from lyrics):

"And so you’re back from outer space.
I just walked in to find you here
Without that look upon your face.
I should have changed my fucking lock.
I would have made you leave your key
If I’d have known for just one second
You’d be back to bother me."

Platonic or Plutonic?

I've not read any of Plato's works, but then again, I've not really read a lot of works so that point is kinda moot. In any event, the term "platonic friends" is pretty much universally known nowadays. And youths these days (I'll count myself as one despite how old and mouldy I'm getting) are kinda getting entangled in the whole mess of it. Personal explanation as follows.

Hrmmm.. My parents probably came from an era where "platonic friends" were a non-existential entity. If you knew someone of the opposite gender, he/she was more or less an "acquaintance" rather than a "friend". If you wanted to befriend him/her, you were more or less interested in him/her and would therefore try to "date" the person in order to get closer to her. It was pretty much black & white with a somewhat clear line separating the gender boundaries as well as the notion of "acquaintances" and "friends".

These days, however, are a tad bit different. Well, in my book at least. For one, I don't look at every single female as a potential "girlfriend target" (probably explains why I'm still single, but nevermind about that) but rather as potential friends. There's not exactly a boundary to me whether friends can be made with the opposite gender. Its just natural, isn't it? Everyone has the potential to be a possible friend, no? Whether male of female.

Still, there are some inherent contradictions to the above, which leads to what I call "The Mess". In having a number of close female platonic friends, there're sometimes a whole bunch of unexplored paths which my dear parents can't exactly help me with, since I'm caught up in the midst of The Mess.

The biggest issue in my book, is when these long-time platonic friends eventually get attached. Whilst the first instinct and reaction is to feel a sense of euphoria as a pal of your's has finally found someone she can trust and live together with, the feeling quickly ebbs away to be replaced irritatingly with a jumble of emotions. Envy, being the foremost. Though some might call it jealousy.

Usually, I deal with these emotions by trying really ruddy hard to shunt them aside. But the same thoughts would resurface and bug me from time to time.

These include:
1) Damn, I'm not gonna be talking and meeting up with her as often since she'll be all lovey-dovey with her new beau.
2) Damn, I've been friends with her for eons now, and this new guy just waltzes into her life and sweeps her off her feet?
2.1) Not that I ever had any of those feelings for her, but was I ever in the picture?
2.2) Or wait, COULD i possibly have had feelings for her?

And thats where The Mess really kicks in. Have I, in the span of knowing someone so well, actually developed feelings for her along the way? I used to swallow it down as being a "brother-sisterly" sort of affection. But nowadays, I'm beginning to worry otherwise. Which is buggersome for one big reason. Does that mean I've "developed affections" for that small number of close female friends? That sounds almost, uh, casonova-ish. Its friggin' bloody annoying. And my response would be to go "of course not, i'm not that sort of guy".

But the envy and jealousy still lingers at times. Bubbling up to surface thoughts just to annoy the shit out of me when I least expect it. And sometimes, stupidly, I start worrying about how I'd feel when friends who aren't attached eventually do so.

I'd like to think that the whole sense of down-ness these thoughts lead to is just because of the fact I won't be meeting up with her that often anymore. And we wouldn't be sharing as much with each other.

But, to be fair, communication is a two-way thing. And even if she doesn't call me because she's happy with her beau, that doesn't mean I can't call her right? Still, its so difficult to pick up the phone at times 'coz I don't wanna interrupt at an inopportune moment. Or to be told "I'm talking to him at the moment, will callya back later alrighty?" and eventually not having my call returned.

I guess some would argue that it would mean that our friendship probably wasn't as strong as I believed it to be. I would disagree however. I still believe in my friendships with these attached ladies, despite the slack in communications. Friendship, after all, is an embedded thing and it doesn't always require constant communication to reaffirm it, but rather an innate feeling that this person would always be around to help out when I'm in trouble, and vice versa.

Which leads to the subject of plutonic rocks. Yes, insane jump off-course here, but I hope I can veer it into the correct direction. Basically, plutonic rocks are formed by the cooling of magma in subsurface conditions. Somewhat similar to igneous rocks I suspect. But anyways, coining the word "plutonic friends" might make for some interesting debate. Sort of like, the cooling of the friendship after a platonic friend has been attached, ie the transition from platonic to plutonic friend would occur after he/she's been attached.

There're still feelings and friendly affections for the person, but due to circumstances, those emotions have cooled off a little, though they were burning more fiercely previously.

Utter rubbish? Insane ramblings? I've no idea myself. I'm still searching for a point B. And if there's no destination, there's no point looking for a route. ^^;;

Christmas Shmishmas

Right, so Christmas is round the corner. The festive spirit's in the air. Lots of peeps in town doing last minute shopping. Red/white decor plagues every mall and adverts depicting cheap deals are aplenty.

Christmas cards are trickling in, though ironically they're from sales reps and insurance agents rather than friends. ^^;; I'm not complaining, since I rarely send out cards and don't expect any either.

Still, Christmas is looking as grim as ever.

It might seem like I'm leading some sort of depressed lifestyle, but hrmmm, its something a li'l different than that (ie I'm NOT depressed). Christmas to me is usually a prelude to the big blow which is New Year's. That week in between the two dates is when that slightly guilty portion at the back of your brain starts bugging you whether you've actually accomplished what you set out to do at the start of the year.

And every year, the answer is pretty much a resounding no for me. I'm still temperamental. I'm still prone to periods where I just shut myself out from people. I'm still barely skimming through my exams and my results are still as craphola as they were a year ago.

Nevertheless, the same old resolutions will be made. Which will then be unaccomplished by year's end, and the cycle repeats itself til... well, til I eventually change or get zapped to my component molecules. Chances are, the latter occurence would happen first. ^^;;

In any event, there's really no necessity in wallowing in unfulfilled resolutions. Since its a yearly occurence, I shouldn't slip into the *cough* Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul. I really oughta be enjoying the last long-term break I'll be having for the next (argh) 30-40 years or so. *grimaces, winces and gasps*

In short: I'll be damned if I don't complete watching School Rumble before this year is over. =P =P

Dreams - Reality's imprint, or imagination's figment?

I've been dreaming a lot recently. A helluva lot. And no, its not the sort of castle-in-the-air/mind-wandering-about type of daytime dreaming in the middle of classes, but rather the doesn't-feel-like-i'm-gonna-get-enough-sleep-tonight sort of dreams which plague me when I'd rather not be visualising anything (ie sleeping).

It'd be great if I could remember these dreams, but I usually forget about 'em pretty much around 5 minutes after I've woken up, despite my best efforts to hang on to the tendrils of dissipating memory. Buggersome, really.

The worst part is, the memories of these dreams resurface when I least expect it - whilst I'm commuting, in the middle of writing a research paper, in the middle of an exam, etc etc. And they're not proper vivid memories either. They're just some weird annoying prods from the deep recesses of my brain - the same recesses which give me the out-of-sorts feeling that I'd forgotten something. This creates a whole bunch of crazy issues.

Are these memories real? Or were they something I'd dreamt up and due to the whole mish-mash of a misfiring-hunk-of-junk called "my brain", led myself to think that they were real?

Usually, my reaction is to confirm whether these memories are indeed reality. Which, more often than not, ends up with me sounding rather foolish, or probably being thought of as a blundering idiot. Hrmm.. not that I'm not an idiot, but nevermind about that. =P

There are certain times, however, where these vague memory imprints turn out to be real (or half-correct). Which then spurs me on in the future to always clarify all of my vaguest imaginations. Which furthermore leads me to sound rather foolish, thought of as blah blah blah... vicious cycle really.*gnaws teeth*

It'd probably be a lot better if my dreams didn't involve my friends, but rather people I didn't know and in a setting thats suitably fantasy-ish. As far as I can remember though (which, admittedly, probably is about as far as I can throw myself), most of my dreams tend to involve people I know, but as to what those dreams were about... well, that only resurfaces (or should I say, "scratches the surface") at inopportune moments, and with the sort of clarity that can be best described as "foggy".

Ultimately, I just wish these dreams would stop. Not because I want to sound less like a blabbering fool (thats already a default persona of mine), but rather so that I can get some peaceful hours of uneventful sleep dagnammit!